Adventurous Life

 A few years ago I started consistently journaling. It wasn't something I normally enjoyed doing, but I found that if I added scrapbooking to it (tickets, programs, receipts, stickers, pictures, etc), then I actually enjoyed it more. Each year has its own journal, and I buy a new journal every December in anticipation of January. A lot goes into picking out the journal. It needs to look different than the previous year's journal and feel...good. Not just how it actually feels in my hands but also the feeling I get from the journal about the year ahead. What color or design is catching my eye? What will keep me coming back so that I write? Because of all that I put into my journals they need to have covers that can withstand travel and being thrown into a bag, the elastic band on the outside to keep it all together, sturdy binding, and paper thick to keep the glue from staining.* My journal has to be strong and sturdy to be able make it through the year.  Today as I was conside...

Like many of you, I too have had my daily life affected by the coronavirus. Last week officials in Austria began issuing travel and meeting restrictions for the next 2 weeks that then became more drastic and widespread on Sunday. For the next 4 weeks, we are not allowed to be in public spaces, we cannot go outside with other people unless we live with them and have a purpose to be outside, non-essential businesses are closed, travel restrictions have been enacted, the civil services has been increased and along with the police will patrol and enforce the restrictions. You can read more about the restrictions (in German) here . Sounds almost like living in a militaristic state doesn’t it? That’s one perspective, and not the one I choose to have. I see it as a government trying to prevent large-scale infection, sickness, and death using the resources that they have. Hardly any country in the world took the news from China seriously at the beginning. Italy is an example as the hospi...

A couple of weeks ago, I was asked to share a testimony at my organization's regional conference regarding what I had learned about hope during my residence permit issues. Below is what I wrote out and shared. It has been slightly edited for the context of this page.  I arrived in Austria in November 2017 on a tourist visa. What we didn't know at the time is that I would live the next year on a 90-day rotation between Austria and Ireland while I waited on a decision about my residence permit. We found out that my residence permit was denied about a week before my tourist visa expired. I had a short amount of time to get my Austrian affairs in order and to make plans regarding Ireland. At first, I saw going to Ireland as a great adventure and opportunity. I get to live in Galway, Ireland?! I had never been there before and had always wanted to go. I love the ocean and was going to be able to live next to it. I would also get to know different people from my organization. This ...

In January I'm moving to a new city and have been searching apartments looking for "The One." Yesterday, I traveled to the new city and saw three possibilities, but none of them met expectations. I wasn't discouraged about the results or lack thereof, as I was able to see different parts of the city and get a feel for what I really want in an apartment.Then this morning I did another apartment search. Oy. How the discouragement set in! Will I ever find a place that has what I want and need? Do I compromise on some of my must-haves? Time is running out! Will I find a place in time? Thoughts and feelings racing. I went on a walk to pray. Who else better to talk to about these things the The One in charge of them all? The walk was cool until this moment when I stepped into full sun. The warmth covered me from head to toe and chased the chill of the fall morning away. I stood there face to the sky, soaking it in. Ahead I saw that the path was once more covered in shad...

I have dealt with a lot of disappointments these past few years. Many people have tried to encourage me, and while some have been truly encouraging, others have left me more discouraged than I was before our interaction. I have reflected on my own experiences (read: these may not apply for everyone), and here are a few ways to truly help someone who is discouraged. If you have more ideas, share them in the comments! DO INVITE THEM: 1. Let them know you are there for them. 2. Ask how they are doing /feeling. 3. Give them time, space, and silence. Each person is different in how much they need. 4. Let them know they are not alone. 5. Listen. Let them know you are listening and engaging, but that's it. DON'T INVADE THEM: 1. Don't assume you know how that person feels. You may have a guess (and it may be right), but ask and let them tell you. It will be empowering for them. 2. Don't speak for that person. Strike the phrase "You must be..." from your mi...

Last week I had a rough day. I had been trying to resolve a frustrating situation and wrestling with anxiety about another situation when something negative unexpectedly occurred. In the grand scheme of things, none of these were horrible, but the culmination was too much for me that day. I decided to go to the Belvedere Museum. The focus there is on modern and contemporary art, but I like going there because of the gardens. I had read an article that viewing art is calming, and for me it is true. The Belvedere has a collection of Gustav Klimt's work, including the famous The Kiss. I'm not a big fan of Klimt, but after seeing more of his works, he is growing on me. I prefer his landscapes more than anything. The painting that stuck out to me the most that day was Forester's House in Weissenbach I on the Attersee ( Forsthaus in Weissenbach I am Attersee).  The subject is calming and idyllic. The colors are inviting and the scene is peaceful. You can almost feel the sun, s...

Loss. I lost a lot of things recently. Books. Decorations. Notes. Pictures. Clothes. Shoes. Things only with sentimental value. Loss of one thing that hit me hard was an external hard drive. I had spent weeks scanning binders full of class notes and assignments from my time at seminary. Instead of shipping close to 10 three-inch binders, I had all the files saved on that external hard drive. The one that didn't make it. The pages had long been thrown away, and there were no other backups. Five years of hard work and knowledge were gone. Poof. Tears were definitely shed, make no mistake, but it did cause me to reflect upon my time at seminary. What is the goal of seminary? Originally, I went to gain knowledge. I wasn't raised in the church and was thoroughly lacking in the biblical and theological understanding I felt was essential for a missionary. But if knowledge is all I gained, or is all to be gained, then my experience at seminary was incomplete and only a shadow. At...

Residence permits and visas. These are required to visit or live in another country depending on your citizenship, your destination, and your length of stay. Requirements to get them vary considerably and depend upon the political climate of the time. As a citizen of the United States, I can visit the European Union for 90 days until I either must leave or procure a residence permit or visa. Since I am planning to stay in Austria long-term, I need a residence permit. And so my saga begins. In May 2017, I began collecting documents so that I could apply for my residence permit. I needed my birth certificate, background check, proof of employment and health insurance in German and English, and a few months of paystubs. Most of these had to be apostilled, which is basically an internationally recognized notary. I also had to fill out an extensive application in German and set up an appointment with the consulate in Washington D.C. to deliver everything in person. At the consulate I woul...

This past week has been really difficult. Deciding about an apartment, financial issues, exhaustion, difficult situations, miscommunications, and all in the midst of learning to live in a new country. Definitely glad it's Sunday and a new week begins. Throughout it all, God has been a gentle teacher. These are the lessons I learned this week. 1. Each day really is new every morning. Confession: I'm not really an optimist. I try, but it is a muscle that tends to atrophy. Sometimes I wake up not wanting to face the day because I know it will be just as trying as the day before. I don't often view the day as an opportunity for something new and different. After a really rough night this week, I woke up the next morning lighter for no reason at all. I realized that even though I still had to deal with the difficulties from the day before, this new day could be and would be different because the Lord's faithfulness and steadfast love hadn't changed. I have Him. Isn...

This is the story of how I became a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle... I grew up in a passive-aggressive home that would let the tension build and express the hurt, frustration, and disappointment in so many other ways rather than discuss the conflict and try to resolve it. As a result, I try to avoid conflict when  ever possible. I will deny there is an issue, push it off as long as possible, end it messily just so there won't be any more conflict, or try to find someone else to handle it. Any conflict (real or potential) emotionally and mentally drains me. I feel the tension even when the conflict does not involve me. If I have to face conflict, I physically struggle with an increased heart rate, shaky legs, and an upset stomach. Fortunately, there are those in my life who love me enough to help me grow in this area, but I continue to feel like a failure at the end of any conflict. I thought I always handled conflict wrong and everyone else did it right. Hopeless. When I saw on t...

Life lately has been frustrating and a little hurtful. Relationships aren't going the way I expected. Partner development seems to be stalling. My physical and spiritual lives are fluctuating. Loneliness is increasing. Some of this is due to life in transition, and I understand that, but I knew there was something else to what was going on--especially in my relationships. That's when I remembered another part of the training at MTI--being twanged by expectations. The training at MTI wasn't just for the adults. Children had their own program and they were taught the same lessons we were but at an age-appropriate level. On a few occasions, the children would join us for an object lesson and we would learn together. This post is about one of those lessons. Have you ever felt that jolt when your expectations didn't match up to reality? That is the twang of expectations. Picture your feelings as the nucleus of many factors orbiting on different axes around you: realty vs...

What are your thoughts about language learning? Does it excite you? Stress you out? Something you have to do to fulfill some requirement? The prospect of learning a language has always been exciting to me. In high school, I took an etymology course so I could learn a smattering of Latin. I switched programs in seminary so I could study Greek and Hebrew. If I could have one superpower in the world, I would want to be fluent in every language ever. I remember one of the first times I saw language acquisition in action. I was babysitting a 15-month-old and told him, "Adam, come here." He paused, looked at me, and you could see him beginning to understand what I said. He then walked over to me. I loved seeing him grow in comprehension and was grateful to witness this moment. Too late to flash the nerd alert? You can imagine how much I was looking forward to my training at MTI when I learned that part of it was on how to learn a language. I went expecting tips on how to get the ...

I am afraid of heights. I like the views but the possibility of plunging to my death? Not a big fan really. I like my railings, holding on tightly, and keeping my feet firmly planted on the ground. Right now, this fear is manifesting itself within my faith I am preparing to move to Austria to serve refugee children and their families. My trainings are all done, and I am focusing on developing a partnership team. My goal is to arrive in Europe by September so I can attend a conference later that month. While it is good to have a deadline to work toward, that deadline is not definite. If I miss the conference it will not be a huge setback. But, a living opportunity has come up which provides a a more definite deadline. There is a good apartment available for sublet beginning 05 September, and I have to decide about it this week. I am standing on a precipice and asked to jump. Do I jump with a "yes" to the apartment and trust God will bring in the necessary partners in time?...

Soaring high above the clouds A carefree bird sings aloud, "Here I am full of joy and free, To be as I was created to be." A shot rings out and a hunter growls: "You are too high, you must come low. How dare you leave us here below? How dare you fly up in the air? You have no business to be up there." Falling, falling to the ground The bird crumples without a sound. Shattered to pieces both heart and wing There are no more songs to sing. Careless words, a poison dart, Flightless bird, kept apart. These verbal wounds are fresh and deep. Only time will tell what scars she keeps. Only time will tell what scars I keep.

Have you ever sat down in a hot tub at the end of a long day? The water is warm, you turn on the jets, and the bubbles begin. This is where you want to be--relaxation seeping in, stress flowing out, and peace settling upon you. Soaking it in and letting it go. Ahhhhhhhh. Life feels like a spa tub sometimes. On the surface, everything looks placid, but there are currents underneath. The top of the water may be generally smooth accompanied by the shhhhh of tiny little bubbles popping everywhere, or it could be like mini geysers propelling water sprinkles all around the outside of the tub. Just as the flow and force of the water is determined by the jets, the levels of stress in my life is determined by factors and events that cause or expose my insecurities, which then cause me (and my life) to feel unstable. I moved to a new place a couple of weeks ago. Currents swirl. I went on a two-week road trip to catch up with friends and share about Austria. Bubbles pop. I look at the fu...

I never really knew what it was to live Until I lived for You, Lord. I never really knew what it was to love Until I was loved by You, Lord. I never really knew pain, suffering, and misery Until I turned away from You, Lord. I never really knew the joy of coming home Until I returned to You, Lord. And of all the things I thought I knew I knew nothing, nothing Until I knew You.

"I have no husband." ~ John 4:17 I've always wondered about the woman at the well. What was her life like? What was she feeling? How did she get to such a place? Was she weary from all of her burdens? Now that I have met her, none of my questions have a been answered. I was sitting at a table with 3 Muslim women (Laura, Sarah, and Fiona*) from 2 different countries. We tried to get to know one another through the little bits we knew of German and English. I had told Laura earlier that I was single, and she replied with a smile and a laugh, "Good!" She is married. Fiona asked if I was married, and I told her I wasn't. She responded with, "Then I will pray a husband for you! Every woman should be married." I let that comment slide. She then shared about her family throughout the conversation. To sum it up: 1 child with one husband, 6 children with the other husband, all of them are in her home country, she is in a new country and not sure if she wi...

Spoiler alert: This post will reveal the results of my time on Jeopardy! If you don't want to know, don't read on. The worst part of the show was at the very beginning when each contestant was announced. We had to simply stand there and smile at the camera while the announcer talked. It was only 15 seconds but it felt like 15 hours. The next 25ish minutes were a bit of a blur. I was in game mode and came to play and win. I was focused on the game board, the indicator lights, and Alex's voice. I didn't really pay attention to anything else. Rock and roll! ROUND 1 Categories: Curry Dishes, Looney Tunes Characters, The 1920s, National Labs, Bible Book Names, Complete the Proverb As the categories are revealed I am thinking: Curry--ok, Looney Tunes--definitely got this, 1920s-meh, National Labs--what is this category about? i'm not going to know anything, Bible Names--oh yeah! it's time seminary paid off, Proverb--this could go wither way. Sean as champion get...

It's the afternoon of 12 August and I am driving home from doing errands. The phone rings, but I don't recognize the number. Usually, I don't answer these types of calls, but my intuition told me to answer this one. It was one of the producers of Jeopardy, and he began the conversation by reviewing the info on my application. At the end he asked if everything was correct, and I mentioned that I would be moving in a month. Who do I contact in order to update my information? He said, "Well, you made the show! You're going to be on Jeopardy!" I let out a whoop of excitement. He told me the basics and then later emailed me a whole bunch of forms and more info. It was time to plan a trip to Los Angeles in a month. I now began hitting the Trivial Pursuit cards pretty hard and a few crossword puzzles too.  I flew in on Monday, 14 September, and got there close to 2. The beach was a car ride from the hotel, and my friend and I wanted to go out some place fun on Tue...

This post was originally written Monday, 14 September 2015. Confession: I hear voices inside my head. Sometimes they are quiet, sometimes loud, sometimes talking all at once, sometimes singing. I am in the midst of achieving a life dream, and the big day is tomorrow. As the day has approached, one voice has been whispering. A little here. A little there.Now whispering more and more as I think about tomorrow, and getting bolder and a little louder each time. This is what the voice says, "You can  win and succeed but you shouldn't. If you do you will be seen. People will look at you, scrutinize you, see your faults, and find you lacking, undeserving. Fail. It's easier." I am afraid of my own success. I am afraid of what that success will require, and I am afraid of the inevitable failure. I don't want to be seen in success because that might allow my failures to be seen as well. I am not perfect and never claimed to be, but neither do I want to be laid bare and ...