Adventurous Life

Preface For one of my classes, I am to answer a reflective question each week. So, if the topics seem odd it is because they are not orignal but merely me fulfilling an assignment like the good student I am. (Those who know me will pick up on the dry humor in the latter part of the last sentence.) I find that the questions are helpful and give me a good reason to post something. The Post In the past week I have been reading from Matthew, Psalms, Romans, and Numbers. The Book of Numbers has actually taken on new significance and interest for me as I have observed the role and importance of the nations in the book. I now read with a highlighter in hand so as to mark whenever the nations or peoples are mentioned. Lately, my prayer life has been suffering because I have not been trusting, and even resisting, that God would answer my prayers. Who am I that He should think of me, to do for me? As I write this, I hear a voice in my head that says, “It is not for your service that I answer you...

Why do I refuse God? I have a relationship with Him in the sense that I try to take from Him. I do not give to Him and neither do i let Him give to me. I have been pretty regular about spending time in the Word, which is good for me. I have not been regular of late. My prayer life is almost nonexistent because i am afraid of what He has to say. I know God loves me and has my best at heart. Why do i refuse Him? Why am i afraid of intimacy with my God and Savior? To be honest, it's because i have been burned so many, many times in the past. I don't want to be hurt anymore. I distance myself as a protective measure but i end up hurting myself more because i deny myself the intimacy with God i desire and need. I want to be wholly God's but i know that i am a liar with good intentions when i sing those words. I have a hard time trusting. I do not like myself this point in my pilgrimage. I wnat to be more than what i am, but i am not obedient enough to get there. I abuse grace. I...

Tonight while at work I was struck by a source power, often unknown, and its ill effects upon my life. The source of power is the power of self and in essence the power of the sinful nature. I have been really sick the past two days (strep throat), and just today I have received my vitality and strength back. I wasn't really looking forward to going to work because I didn't want to lose this strength, get sick even more, and not be able to go to class tomorrow, but at least I didn't have to close. Not long after being at work the manager, who knew about my illness, came and asked if I could close stating that no one else wanted/should to do it. I was honest and said I didn't want to but would if there was absolutely no one else who could do it. She left without saying anything, and the other manager eventually came and told me that someone else would close instead. It was during the time in between the managers' communications that I struggled with the situation. My...