Power
Tonight while at work I was struck by a source power, often unknown, and its ill effects upon my life. The source of power is the power of self and in essence the power of the sinful nature. I have been really sick the past two days (strep throat), and just today I have received my vitality and strength back. I wasn't really looking forward to going to work because I didn't want to lose this strength, get sick even more, and not be able to go to class tomorrow, but at least I didn't have to close. Not long after being at work the manager, who knew about my illness, came and asked if I could close stating that no one else wanted/should to do it. I was honest and said I didn't want to but would if there was absolutely no one else who could do it. She left without saying anything, and the other manager eventually came and told me that someone else would close instead.
It was during the time in between the managers' communications that I struggled with the situation. My questions: Why am I penalized because I didn't come in as early or don't have a final exam tomorrow? Why me? I even started to dislike my nature in that people know I will do what I am asked to do. I was upsetting myself, and it was during this time that I started to lose my strength and my throat started to hurt again. I knew I was being unreasonable and mostly unfair in my thinking, but I couldn't stop myself from this thought process. I did not have all the facts so I should not be judging and even condemning. Fortunately, I did not voice any of my thoughts.
On my way home I was thinking about the power of money over people with regard to my manager and her actions, but then it hit me. What about the power of myself/sinful nature over me and the result being my selfish thinking? My focus the whole time was upon me, my physical status, and how I was inconvenienced. Me, me, me, me, me. I didn't care about my other coworkers or what was happening to them. I didn't care about my witness to them. I only cared about me and my own little world. The power of the sinful nature is that it stealthily creeps in at my weakest moment and manages to give me tunnel vision with the end of that tunnel being me. It wipes away all thoughts and concerns I have about others and God. It is able to create the illusion that the whole world or even universe revolves around me and others and God are specks or even nonexistent.
This is the nature within me. This is the nature that God's Spirit wages war against inside of me as well. I learned in a class long ago that a person gains power only when another person or groups of people abdicates power to him. I have abdicated power to my sinful nature, and it has gained a stronghold in my life. It's funny in that if I didn't give it power then it would not have any, but to contrast, the Holy Spirit comes with His own power and all I have to do is be obedient to Him and let Him move through me. Through one is death and through the other is eternal freedom. I have to deny myself and let the Spirit do what He came to do.
Matthew 16:24 ~ Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."
It was during the time in between the managers' communications that I struggled with the situation. My questions: Why am I penalized because I didn't come in as early or don't have a final exam tomorrow? Why me? I even started to dislike my nature in that people know I will do what I am asked to do. I was upsetting myself, and it was during this time that I started to lose my strength and my throat started to hurt again. I knew I was being unreasonable and mostly unfair in my thinking, but I couldn't stop myself from this thought process. I did not have all the facts so I should not be judging and even condemning. Fortunately, I did not voice any of my thoughts.
On my way home I was thinking about the power of money over people with regard to my manager and her actions, but then it hit me. What about the power of myself/sinful nature over me and the result being my selfish thinking? My focus the whole time was upon me, my physical status, and how I was inconvenienced. Me, me, me, me, me. I didn't care about my other coworkers or what was happening to them. I didn't care about my witness to them. I only cared about me and my own little world. The power of the sinful nature is that it stealthily creeps in at my weakest moment and manages to give me tunnel vision with the end of that tunnel being me. It wipes away all thoughts and concerns I have about others and God. It is able to create the illusion that the whole world or even universe revolves around me and others and God are specks or even nonexistent.
This is the nature within me. This is the nature that God's Spirit wages war against inside of me as well. I learned in a class long ago that a person gains power only when another person or groups of people abdicates power to him. I have abdicated power to my sinful nature, and it has gained a stronghold in my life. It's funny in that if I didn't give it power then it would not have any, but to contrast, the Holy Spirit comes with His own power and all I have to do is be obedient to Him and let Him move through me. Through one is death and through the other is eternal freedom. I have to deny myself and let the Spirit do what He came to do.
Matthew 16:24 ~ Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."
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