Israel Flashback #9

Journal entry from 25 May 2010

Yesterday. All my thoughts seem so far away. But I believe in yesterday. Enough with the song lyrics. I need to write my reflection entry for yesterday. To be honest, yesterday did not start off very well. I didn't sleep well and I knew Monday would be busy. We went to Megiddo and somewhat quickly blazed through the tell. Maybe it was the funk I was in or the fact that we have already seen many, tells, regardless, I was not that impressed. The F-16 jets flying overhead caught my attention more. I think it was the funk. A lot of archaeology has been done at the site so we were able to see at least 3 layers of settlements, Solomon's three-gate system, a Canaanite altar, and Solomon's stables. We also walked through the water system.

After lunch at Ein Harod where the the Lord chose Gideon's 300 men, we went to Nazareth Village in Nazareth. Here a group of Christians recreated life in first century Nazareth. They use the same methods and materials that people used back then. So, if they build with stone they hew it out instead of using machines. If they use wood they chop it and shape it. Some of the exhibits we have seen before such as the wine press and the tomb. The thing that struck me most was to learn that most of the building and agricultural methods were still in use until approximately 50 years ago. Then things began to modernize. People must have been doing something right for those practices to continue for so long. Again, I don't think we, myself included, give people of the past much credit. We tend to always think that our way is best. Sometimes it may be better, but not best.

It has been an emotionally tough week. I have failed at guarding my heart. I have been crushing on Mr. X. Last week when I hit an emotional pit, he asked if everything was okay and I was rude in my response. The next day I was convicted and apologized. He forgave me and then sat next to me on the bus the following day as an act of kindness and friendship--to show that everything was okay. I know there is nothing more to it, but my thoughts went barreling down the wrong path. If I didn't have a crush before, I definitely did then. Nothing further has happened and he may even be avoiding me. He has sat at the front the past 2 days on the bus.

I wish I could guard my heart better from myself. I get so emotionally involved and connected to fantasies and imaginings I build off of nothing. I have not been myself. Things don't seem as fun, new, or exciting anymore. I have a hard time focusing when he is around because my eyes and thoughts tend to drift. The last free day was nice because I didn't see him and therefore think about him...most of the day. He is a man of great quality and a brother in Christ. I should leave it at that. I pray that God will continue to show me truth and help me guard my heart. Someday I would like to know more happy days than painful ones. I don't want this to be my only memory from the trip.