A New Chapter

Getting a PhD is something I have always wanted to do. During seminary, one of my missions professors advised the class not to pursue doctoral studies right after graduation but to wait until we had a question that needed answered. I followed his advice. During the lockdowns in 2020, I was able to read a lot in work-related fields: trauma, parenting, missions, children’s ministry. During all these readings, I also noticed what I wasn’t reading. Spiritual formation of children is not a common topic to write about, and most of what has been written is over a decade old. Trauma is a trending topic in society, but not so much within the church yet. I started to think, what would the spiritual formation of children who have been traumatized look like? Taking into account brain damage, psychological effects, bodily injuries, relationship/attachment issues, and the list could go on—how do these affect spiritual formation? How do these and the developmental stages affect spiritual formation of children? A child who has been traumatized has different struggles. What if then we took a different approach to spiritual formation? Instead of focusing on reading the Bible, memorizing facts, prayer, activities we do to prove our faith as hallmarks of spiritual formation, we took a different approach and looked at wonder, creativity, story, belonging, identity, grieving and used those themes to guide the spiritual formation of children who have been traumatized? What would this type of ministry look like for the lay person?

Now I have a question that needs answering. At the beginning of 2021, I began to look at other schools in the US and Europe. I found that just about all the programs in the US were a combination of classwork and research, but in Europe I could do just do research, and do it distance learning and part-time in most cases. Plus, finding a program in English wasn’t difficult. At this point it seemed like studying in Europe was ideal: I wouldn’t have to stop the ministry work I was doing (which I didn’t feel God was calling me to do anyway), my studies would inform my ministry and ministry would inform my studies, and if I had to travel the distance wouldn’t be too great or time-consuming. I had even chosen my top school pick, the University of Aberdeen in Scotland.

It was time for home assignment. A secret goal of home assignment was to see how feasible this was. I talked with friends who had gotten their PhDs while still being in ministry to see what it was like. Would I be biting off more than I could chew if I did ministry and a PhD? I talked with close friends just to get feedback on me personally about doing this. Their answers were unanimously, “I can totally see you doing this! You are so smart! This is something perfect for you.” I talked with those who had got doctorates in spiritual formation and children's ministry to see if my idea was a good one. I did a bit of research on funding. I emailed with a student doing distance-learning at my top pick school to see what it was like. I received advice from those who have gone before. I talked with leadership at my missions organization to see if it would be possible for me to do this in an administrative/ministry way.

Affirmation continued to come in. But then too came the insecurities. The European model for applying is that I first have to get a faculty member to agree to supervise me before actually applying to the program. I also require the approval of my field team because it constitutes a change in ministry. What if my idea is not good enough? What if no one sees the need for this topic to be studied the way I do? What if I am not good enough? What if I can’t do this? What if I don’t ever complete the studies? (The answer to the last question is: then I don’t complete it. But I will have learned something regardless.) Sometimes as I research or read on the topic, these insecurities creep in and start to overwhelm me. I know, though, that if I give in to them, then I definitely won’t earn a PhD. 

I returned from home assignment ready for the next steps. In December, I spoke with my ministry team in Linz about the PhD, and they were very supportive and encouraging, willing to help in any way they can. In January I talked with my field team and regional leadership, and they all approved. While in Athens at the conference, I met a guy that had done his PhD at Aberdeen and he even knows the person I hope will supervise the research. He put us in contact and we had a zoom call last week about the project. She agrees that this research is something that should be done and has interest in the project. She is taking on new students, and is helping me write up the research proposal. Once that is written I can officially apply to the school. What a cool thing God brought about from the conference in Athens! 

I plan to begin my studies in the fall of 2022, and by doing it part-time it will take about 6 years to complete. Most of the research will primarily be book research, but there is a possibility to include a social survey or field study. Since this is considered an independent project, there isn’t much funding available, so it is something I will have to trust God with. Plus balancing my ministry responsibilities, studies, and life. Throughout it all, the refrain has been, “I want this.” I can’t remember the last time I wanted something as much as I want this. I am not only excited about all the things I will learn, but also about all the ways other people can walk alongside children as they draw closer to God.